EP#12 🌿Communication Flow That Builds Teamwork

This episode is about learning how to engage your team in communication flow that inspires everyone to work together, supports team foundations and is louder than the conversations going on outside the room. 

I talk about communication flow: not the official kind, but the layer underneath it, in a look, a silence, a shared glance across a meeting. I believe that layer is important to get curious about and once you learn to read it, it becomes one of the most powerful tools you have to shift culture.

I share what it looks like when a team finds its own language for teamwork, when gossip turns into someone genuinely being encouraged to talk to the right person, and when a team holds something as personal as a health scare with total privacy, solidarity and care. 

Why was a "shut door" moment one that taught me how much trust travels through the smallest things, and why I believe your team's sense of safety and predictability starts with you.

A snap team meeting, five minutes of planning together and how it turned into one text about a COVID lockdown, that said everything: "Plan B." It's an example of proactive, trusted communication and what that looks like in practice, and it's the kind of team culture I believe every leader can build.

I close with the one thing I'd invite you to try: get curious about what your team is already telling you, and start the conversations that let your voice be the one they hear loudest.

EP#12 - LISTEN NOW

(20 minutes)

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On with the episode...

Have you ever imagined what it would feel like if your team brought things to you, instead of you finding something out too late?

Do you suspect your team says more to each other at smoko than they ever say to you?

Are you not sure whether you're missing the quiet signs your team is giving off, or choosing not to look?

Welcome back.

Today I'm excited to finally talk about how you can benefit from learning to look at communication flow, the way or how things are said across your team and more importantly the impact of things not said.

We look at the clues you might be missing that could be holding back you and your team from real connection, epic teamwork and making sure that your voice is heard above all things. I'm stoked you're here.

We can easily talk about functional process driven communication. However, I believe communication flow, how your team communicates, is actually more important. And that's what this episode's about.

Most of us were never taught to read the room as leaders and address the nuances that can show up when your teams are together. We've all sat in meetings, maybe run meetings, where there's been more activity in a fish tank than how people are engaging. What isn't said can be running things.

Moments when you see people looking at each other, an eye roll, a smirk, blank pages or scribbles.

Blank stares, tussock rolling round the room.

I got so used to leaders ignoring these moments myself, it did become completely normal to be a disengaged participant in the room and stay silent in those situations. And then at smoko, it's on like Donkey Kong and I'd listen to people's opinions unfiltered, raw and intense. Silence in the room is an opinion.

Before I was even leading meetings, it frustrated me that people were more than willing to share with others, but when given the opportunity in a group setting in front of the boss they never spoke up. If you're not dealing with building up the confidence in your team to engage, somebody else's narrative is leading, and you're probably paying for it in ways you may not associate with those small but important signs that signal disengagement.

This could be trust in your leadership, sick days, actual turnover, or your own energy trying to figure out how to lift culture and not moving the dial and being frustrated when you learn about things you could have fixed but learn too late.

Over time I understood that it can be really difficult and uncomfortable to step away from an invisible social code. There's definite fear of being known as a nark or isolated, it's a survival reaction. There's also times which happens to us all when a leader doesn't recognise that they haven't behaved appropriately, either directly or indirectly, and their reactions to engagement stops engagement. The environment

become silently hostile.

From a leader's point of view, why do we ignore this stuff?

I think there's fear of opening a can of worms. It's HR territory. It's too personal. It's unproductive.

It's not seen as valuable. Maybe you might not like the answers. Or maybe you just feel like you don't have the tools to deal with what's going on.

I think we develop a toughness over time. We pivot towards things that we're comfortable with. Sometimes you know you won't be supported, if you do start to rock the boat.

And knowing that the support isn't there to deal with dysfunction, it is kinda heartbreaking.

Sometimes we don't have the mentorship to help us learn how to deal with this stuff, to be transparent without compromising business integrity or feel like we're selling something to our team that we don't believe in.

When the communication flow isn't honest and transparent, your team becomes like that fish tank I mentioned earlier. But one that isn't maintained, not cleaned out, the fish aren't in a healthy environment, and their needs are ignored. The tank gets rank.

If you can think back to the leader that had the most positive impact on you, I guarantee it's the one where you knew that they were invested in you as a person and your development.

I can remember what response that created in me and in my experience I remember them positively because they knew what was going on in the room. I knew them as a person and I knew they had control over the group dynamic and they dealt with things before something became a big issue.

For me these leaders are the ones still in my head, inspiring and encouraging.

I believe you have to know that your voice is the most important one in the room and that those silent actions are still forms of communication and they aren't helping you or your team.

Your voice has to be the one that's listened to more than what's going on in the background.

And you cultivate that by focusing on what you choose to communicate and how you go about it.

Why is communication and its flow so important?

Good communication flow helps everyone feel safe and trusted.

Good communication flow helps support a predictable and stable work environment.

Supporting effective and transparent communication flow isn't cultivated by ignoring signs of dysfunction.

If these dysfunctional signs are present in your team, cultivate your voice.

Culture’s developed through close work with each individual in your team so you both know and understand what awesome looks like for each other.

It's reinforcing teamwork through the work you do in your one-on-ones.

And while you're doing that, overall, being conscious of the language that your team uses and generating conversations around what good teamwork looks like.

Comments like, This place would be lost without us. Yeah, high five.

No. This place should function perfectly whether so-and-so is here or not. That's outstanding teamwork.

If you don't have this already, adding a team building message each time you're together helps drive these types of messages across the team.

Open up conversations. Bring in the impact that poor teamwork can have on everyone.

I can recall the roles where I'd go away but feel sick thinking about the return, knowing I was coming back to a pile of work. It doesn't have to be that way, in fact it shouldn't be that way, but make it part of your team's mission to ensure that everyone's on the same page about teamwork.

Positive and productive communication, addressing gossip.

We all know that getting something off our chest can provide incredible relief if something's bugging us. Does your team know the difference between gossiping and constructively hearing and helping someone that needs encouragement and support? I knew of a person that everyone went to, to gossip, but the cost was they felt drained by the end of the day most days and longed for it to stop.

They used to get grumpy, so people left them alone.

They didn't feel comfortable drawing up boundaries without isolating themselves or the people that came to them.

When changing culture and encouraging people to talk, I'd say a lot, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. And I don't say it to point fingers. I say it to highlight that nothing will change if you're talking to the wrong person or not talking at all.

I remember nearly falling off my seat, overhearing my words repeated by a team member to someone else who was having a bit of a bad day, and this person was encouraging them to talk to their manager and asking if they wanted to share lunch to talk more. I truly celebrated.

Instead of jumping on board, inflaming, consoling, which can be read as agreeing when they don't agree behind that person's back, the encouragement and the line was clear in a positive way.

Please talk to someone who can make a difference. Please don't come into my workspace and just offload.

Over time, if you can help your team learn how to do this, people feel energized because they're learning together and evolving new skills in a safe space. Starting to see these changes in behavior shows you that your culture is starting to shift. It's epic. What else could you be ignoring that you know is pulling your team down and start to consciously address it?

I thought of the following example as a way to show how important communication flow is when you get to dealing with very real human things that happen to us all. The types of things that can jolt our perspective of what truly is important and reinforce cohesive, inclusive engagement with each other. This is with a team really used to functioning at a high level together.

I had a precious team member tell me they were having a major health scare and shared with me because they knew their absence would have a significant impact on the team. I was also trusted because they knew I would give them my full support, whatever they needed, I would be there for them.

They decided they wanted to hold it back from the team until they knew for sure what they were dealing with, which I absolutely respected, and thankfully it all turned out okay. There was still something to deal with. But not as bad as originally suspected.

When they were ready to tell the team, we told the whole team together. Telling the team of their decision to hold off was important, and their request for the type of support they needed from everyone was critical. There was a solidarity that can't be bought, can't be reported on, but brought the team together in two clear ways. Firstly, the work impact was distributed through the team without question and solutions were found quickly.

The focus then became about consistent support on a personal level in the way that that person needed it. This is functioning like a supportive family.

The team respected that person's choice to tell others when they were ready. It was felt, known, reinforced and that person's privacy was protected at all times by every member.

There wasn't gossip, whispers, uncertainty, some people knowing and others not. And for the individual, the success of the team was important to them and that was visible. They also knew that they would get the support they needed by asking, they knew what they needed would be respected.

What came out of that for them was genuine love, empathy and support.

This is a circle. If it happens to someone else, it will be dealt with in the same way.

We don't often speak about love in work environments, but it promotes safety and trust.

If the team aren't hearing words of encouragement and support, you can open the opportunity for someone who doesn't feel good to have negative impact on others.

One team I knew of used to wonder all the time what was going on when the door was shut to the manager's office. I first became aware of it because as soon as the door was shut, people would start whispering. For me it was the weirdest thing. And the even weirder reaction was I started to get paranoid when the door was shut.

I didn't have anything to worry about. I tracked its origin, it bugged me so much. It ended up being linked to a poor performer who was so paranoid about their behavior being questioned, the holes in their work being found out, that they created pretty impressive fear across the group.

Your team should never query your door being shut. There is something really wrong if you find there's nervousness around this. You'll know because people will be curious about who you're meeting with, what's going on.

Rather than absolutely not caring because they trust that anything they need to know, you'll tell them. Dynamics that undermine safety and trust, builds walls.

Creating predictability and stability is such a good feeling when you know it's established.

I've got previous episodes that dive into these things in more depth, but as a foundation, have you established collective common ground around your team?

Values that you all agree to and uphold in each other. Put your team values up on walls and common places. We can all have mini silos within our team, but there should be respectful engagement at all times.

Communication around common values helps create stability because people know how others around them will consistently behave and that the leadership will uphold that. If the values are respect, kindness, encouragement, this is so good. Encouraging the team to hold each other accountable and giving them the tools to do that comfortably is priceless.

Does your team know how you operate? And are your expectations of them clear?

My teams know me. They know I love a good laugh. I don't flip out. If any thing they might get nervous if I'm quiet. They know I like being like a duck, calm on the surface, but underneath I'm cranking. They also know my vulnerabilities, the things I'm working on as a person, as a leader. We're all evolving. They know that I own my mistakes and expect others to do the same.

I learnt quickly if I involved people in a conversation about change, process, ideas, mistakes, I was far more likely to have successful outcomes. And why shouldn't I get their opinion on things that involve them? I might be responsible, but I don't have all the answers. The team is everyone.

Discussing a situation proactively for me is better than having no discussion at all. My teams know I would rather look like a dick bringing something up than to be blindsided.

This is another way that you can encourage your team to move away from communicating under pressure, stress, being reactive, to proactively planning and having discussions about things that may have an impact.

As an example of this, back in the COVID days, I heard a rumor through the health and safety community that the New Zealand government may be announcing another lockdown on that evening's news.

It was getting towards the end of the day and I could hear some of the team starting to pack up for the night. I called a quick meeting to lots of, Are you kidding? Are you serious? I gotta go. Despite pushback, I insisted. I told the team what was happening. I opened it to the floor to let me know how they dealt with it last time as I wasn't around and what suggestions they had if it happened again. After five minutes, so quick, we had a plan A and a plan B.

And we all knew that I'd send a group text out confirming which one we were following that next day, regardless of what the news revealed. My boss thought I was nuts when I told him, but it was announced we were going into lockdown.

And I got a call from my boss, amazed, who was wrapped that he was able to convey to the owner that our team was already onto it. It cost me one text to the whole team, Plan B.

And it saved so much drama and stress trying to figure something out away from the team. I literally sent the text and changed the channel. That also set the tone for how we rolled as a group.

Because the team know me, know how I react, know my expectations, they have safety and trust, predictability and stability.

They might not like everything that I do, but that can go both ways.

There has to be respect. Eventually the teams start working in the same way because the benefits of knowing each other and how to communicate well starts feeling really good, productive and efficient.

The amount of time that you're all chasing each other or being ambushed drops off.

You go home with energy, you go home on time, you go home having had a great day.

Things that have an impact on the team are worth talking about. Big or small. There's no trial by fire and everything's just a conversation.

Communication flow is cultivating the understanding that the intention behind why this is so important matters. It's the channel. It's how safety and trust, predictability and stability get built or broken every day. And change in these areas doesn't happen in a day, but these areas have big impact.

If I've mentioned some things that you've seen present in your team and you want to start changing this, the best action I can suggest is getting curious.

Are you aware of whether you're being effective or affected? What signals are you missing or ignoring? Maybe you could add team building conversation to your team meetings. Maybe it's scheduling some one-on-ones with members that you know probably need some extra time or support. Maybe it's really listening to the conversations that are happening around you. Are they good? Sometimes even just making a list of what you're not happy with will allow you to break down what's most important and start addressing them in small bites and consistently. I noticed when I've done this that behaviours that seem different actually are the same issue or theme needing to be supported.

Looking at how your team engages, how they respond to you, makes it easy to decide what actions you can take to improve these core fundamentals.

One thing though. Please don't ignore signs of someone being anxious or nervous about something, or if you see those quiet signs of discontentment, the side glances through meetings, the jabs disguised as jokes.

Choose to pick these things up in private with team members.

Ask them what's going on. Are they okay? Give them an opportunity to tell you in a space that you create that's safe for you both.

And set the understanding that your door is always open.

Don't let the things not said be the communication that runs your environment.

Let me know how you go. I'm so keen to help and hear how I can expand on anything for you. Reach out in the comments if you want a way to establish your team's values. I have a really easy, effective way to do this and happy to share. I don't think I'll ever tire of highlighting things that could help you and your team have better days. These past few episodes have been about what I believe are the environmental conditions around your team, that nervous system regulation that I believe is vital to get team foundation solid.

Next episodes I start digging in on leadership, clarity, feedback, accountability.

What does it look like when we're empowered to put ourselves and our people first in these areas?

Thanks for being here. I trust this helped. See you next time. Ciao.

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